I don’t know how to start. I have 28 years and i’m happily in love for year and a half now. Our sex
life is great, but i’m missing one, or better i have a big wish to try one thing. When I was younger i liked to experiment masturbating, and once a tried to ejaculate into a squid. I pushed it deeply into the squid and I condensed the entrance with my hand. After that I became addicted.
I always loved to masturbate, I didn’t stop even if i’ve got a girlfriend. Sometimes after ejaculating into squid, i would wash it, bake it and ate it. Once, at the begining of relationship, i baked squids, in which I ejaculated, to my girlfriend. I didn’t wash them. I was really turned on after she ate them and even praised their taste. After that night we ended up in bed, although she had menstruation. Everithing was going great till she said that my penis smells like fish. Ofcourse I washed it after playing with squid but it didn’t help. I wass pissed off and I told that her menstruation smells like fish! I know it was stupid but it looked like a decent way to pull through. That was long ago, and after that I was careful about the fish smell when me we were making love. I cleaned my penis with wet wipes.
The reason I’m writing is my enormous wish to use squid in sex. Idea of making live with my girlfriend and ejaculating into squid, which is deep in her, while squid’s limbs hit my balls, really turns me on.
Now when you know everything, let me ask you. Have can I suggest all this to my girlfriend? We have a really good understanding and communication, and i don’t have any other secret beside this. I’m thinking to put the squid under the bed, and while making love, hint it fast and enter in her. But I think that would be a shock for her. Because you need to prepear for a visit of a sea animal in your genitals. I’m waiting for your answer.”
Now a few stupid and sick ones:
“He stuck his finger downthere! Am I still a virgin?!”
“I started intimate relations with my boyfriend one year ago. I always use pills.
A month ago I started relations with one of my friend from college. My question is, should I take two pills? One for my boyfriend and one for my friend from college.”
“Help me please! I always have something white under the head of my penis!
Answer: Wash it eagle!”
“I’m sleeping with two guys. Can the first one discover I’m cheating him?”
“Me and my friend were making out with two boys yesterday and now we have winds. Are we pregnant?
Answer: Maybe you just ate too much beans!”